Smile Though Your Heart Is Aching

I remember as a child playing the song Smile Though Your Heart is Aching by Charlie Chaplin over and over again. Simple things impact children. That old organ book I found, and that little phrase had a profound influence on my mind years later. (Oh, the power of music). While I wouldn’t suggest that you never share your heart with someone you trust when you need a shoulder to lean upon, or really that you add Charlie Chaplin as a list of heroes … the title of the song is a little reminder that this too will pass. You will feel joy again. Just keep on keepin’ on.

The truth is that for someone who doesn’t know Christ as their Savior, they may never experience true joy. But for the Christian, we have the opportunity to know peace and even feelings of joy.

I want to share with you a little bit about my last year. Right around Christmas, I found myself typing into Google “I can’t feel joy.” I honestly felt as if something was broken inside of me. I could feel negative feelings like fear, anxiety, and grief but when it came to things on the positive spectrum I felt numb. Apparently, I am not the only one who felt that way, because there were scads of people who had typed those same words into Google who were searching for … something.

I’ll admit, it had been a difficult year in some deep ways, but I couldn’t understand what was wrong. God truly has given me a peaceful home with a kind husband, healthy children, provision for our needs and even many of our wants. I was not unthankful. I was not angry. I was just empty.

I remember our pastor was teaching on Ecclesiastes and he talked about how “under the sun” men will come to the conclusion “What’s the point?” It seems that in spite of all of man’s best efforts; we live, we die. It tends toward the epicureanistic philosophy of “Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die.” That is kind of where my mind was living. “What’s the point of all this again?” replayed over and over in my mind.

I am being a bit transparent, but I know that we all live in the same world, with the same flesh and the same devil and I am sure that the same things happen to other people as well.

Well, after several months of “What’s the point of all this?” I ended up with no joy. Isn’t that awful. A Christian with a blessed life, who has within their reach the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, gentleness, goodness, meekness, temperance and faith. (Gal. 5:22-23) It’s not something you go around telling people.

“Hi. My name is Melissa. I love the Lord with all my heart, but can’t seem to have the fruit of the Spirit.”

But I didn’t give up. I do remember another dark time years ago when I came through a time of oppression and I wrote From Chronic Despair to Continuous Joy and that I lived the verse “Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.” Every day, I just did what I knew was right until the Lord opened my eyes to some needed areas of submission of which I wasn’t even aware. As it turns out, back then I went through something darker than I ever imagined and eventually I came out on the other end better and stronger in faith.

KEEP ON KEEPIN’ ON

And that is the point of this Life Lesson. Smile though your heart is aching. Just keep at it. Don’t give in to your thoughts and emotions. Keep doing what is right. Keep reading your Bible. Keep doing your dishes. Keep going to work. Keep praying. Keep handing out tracts. Keep smiling.

How does this relate to our children?

You see, our children know when something isn’t right. They know when you’ve been crying. They know when you do devotions with them even though you are tired. They know when you give them a smile and a hug when you feel like you need the smile and hug yourself.

When you read a verse in Psalms that reminds you that you are not the only one who has felt this way, and you open up to your children about how this verse ministers to you; they see that the Bible is alive.

When your child comes and tells you that they have been struggling with really dark thoughts and you say, “I have been there too.” and share how God has kept you going; they see that God is real.

When you are looking for an escape from your own self and realize that the only real place to run to is the arms of God, that during family devotions when you reach the passage in John 6:67 where the disciples came up against something they didn’t understand and Jesus said, “Will ye also go away?” and Peter answered, “Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.” that you can sincerely tell your children why the Comforter truly has come and that there is no turning back.

THE ARMS OF GOD

Everybody’s trials are different. My battles may not reflect yours. My path to victory may not be your path. BUT I believe that when God said to confess your faults to each other, that there is a purpose. I also believe that when God answers a prayer that it provides hope to those looking for an answer.

My answers and the path upon which I am currently walking victoriously was in direct relation with my fellowship with God.

I don’t want to share everything about my prayer life, because I intend to do a post soon in regards to Why Not Pray?, but in short I lost my joy because I just prayed about the basics and stopped sharing my heart with God.

I don’t know about you, but at the end of the day my mind is so full that I feel like any more will cause me to burst. I am exhausted. Noises are overwhelming. Rarely is everything accomplished the way I desire. The next day is looming ahead and I don’t even remember what I am supposed to be cooking, or doing, or whether I put everything on the grocery list.

My life had become a very accomplished list of things to get done. Christmas was a thing to get done. Homeschool field trips were things to get done. Taking pictures at events were not “capturing memories” they were documentation that needed to get done for the yearly photo album. Master Club costumes were an evil necessity that needed to get done. Listening to my children’s stories and looking at their pictures were just part of my “responsibility.” I did them all. I did them with a smile … most of the time. But it was all external.

So what changed? God. I poured my heart out to Him and repented of all of my fears and doubts in regards to prayer. I started telling Him everything. I got out my prayer journal and started out, “Oh, God. I am so exhausted. Today I …” and then I just told Him everything. Forget about Facebook. Forget about coffee with the girls (like I ever do that anyway.) Forget about Instagram. To God, you are not something that He just skims past. He WANTS to be your friend. But more about that later in the post Why Not Pray?

When I started talking (well I write it all) to Him as if He was my best friend, and asking Him for joy … the Holy Spirit started giving me perspective. I was able to share with God my regrets about the day and my hopes for the next. I told Him about my fears of failure and my lack of faith. I cried about my lack of joy and He reminded me that there is joy in the sunset, that there is joy in my children’s expressions, that there is joy in sitting down together as a family. All I had to do was change my perspective, and it is the Holy Spirit within us that gives us the correct perspective.

Everything changed because I took “everything to God in prayer.” What a Friend We Have In Jesus! I am reminded that “and He walks with me and He talks with me and He tells me I am His own.” and truly “the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known.”

I have found joy, but had I given up … I may never have.

Keep on Keepin’ On.