I was recently overwhelmed with the daunting task of raising and training my children. HA! I laugh because I get overwhelmed with this prospect over and over, so saying it was “recently” seems silly. But, especially as the homeschool year approaches I start thinking, “How am I supposed to get it all done?”

Let’s face it. A mom’s job is about 90% time and asset management. Under our husband’s lead, we figure out the priorities, we find a balance and we go at it.

I started praying and reading the Bible in regards to God’s priorities in raising children. Will they be hindered if we don’t do sports? What about all the birthday parties? What about field trips? What curriculum is the best for us this year?

In my studying and cross referencing of Scriptures, I found that God really emphasizes three things. Knowing them has been my saving grace recently. At the end of the day, I ask myself, “Did you (fill in the blank with these three things)?” If I did, then I consider my day a success.

What are the three things?

1. Teach them the Bible.

2. Spank them when needed. – Because so many people misunderstand this idea, I wanted to briefly explain what I mean, but since it is not the intent of this Life Lesson, I will not delve into it much.

Spanking is a Scriptural direction. (Hebrews 12:6)

The point of spanking is to teach them to fear the consequences of sin. There is a God. There is a Judge. One day they will have to give an account for all of their actions. The consequence of disobedience and rebellion is real. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge. (Prov. 1:7, Prov. 9:10)

It teaches the child that there is a difference between right and wrong. (Prov. 29:15, Prov. 22:15) This will lead to conviction of sin and ultimately (prayerfully) the salvation of their soul. (Prov. 23:14)

Spanking them is not to cause hurt to them because they are bad. Yes, spankings hurt, but that is not the point.

When I talk about spanking, I am speaking of when a child is directly disobeying an order given by you, that you calmly take them aside and administer some spankings to their behind. (Preferably not with your hand. You don’t want them to be afraid or flinch from your touch.)

I hate that there are people out there who beat their children or who will “spank” their child so much as to cause kidney failure and death. This breaks my heart. (Prov 23:13) If you are spanking them in love, you will not cause injury to them. If you are causing injury, you are doing it wrong.

If you find yourself lashing out verbally to your child followed by a slew of hasty “spankings,” check yourself. You’ve got the wrong idea of “spanking.”

If your child is not responding to spankings, then walk away and ask for some guidance. Do not let spankings result in abuse. I had a child who for a time would not respond to spankings and we had to work on the submission of her heart in another way for a while. Hard repetitive spankings CAN become abusive and cause injury to the child. Injury is not part of biblical spanking.

3. Don’t provoke them to wrath. (Eph. 6:4, Col. 3:21) – Read about this in the post “9 Things Every Parent Should Stop”

Now back to the Life Lesson at hand.

Read Your Bible. Pray Every Day.

As I was saying, when I started feeling fearful that I was not doing a good enough job as a mother, the first thing I started asking myself was, “Did you teach them the Bible?” If the answer was “Yes.” then I knew that I had accomplished 1/3 of my job that day. Not only that, but I actually accomplished something with eternal value as well.

I have been a mother for several years, but it took a while for us to get into a routine of Bible reading together. As reading my Bible and praying is probably the most important thing I could do with and for my children, it was at the forefront of the battlefield at our home.

At first the children seemed too young to get anything from the reading. Then there was the hurdle of training them to sit still while we were doing devotions. Oh my! Then there was finding a good time in our day to establish this habit. Augh! Then the fiery dart, “But what about your Bible reading, mom?” I almost quit before making a good effort at starting.

Several years down the road now I can humbly and fearfully say that we have, to God’s glory, been faithful at family devotions for about four years now. I am not saying this to lift up our home, but to encourage you that it can be done.

How do we do it?

I am not saying that you have to do it our way. If you have something that works for you, then keep at it. If you are struggling, I want to give you a glimpse into a way that may give you some ideas for your own home.

I also know the father’s role in training our children is huge, but odds are that I am not talking to fathers here. So I want to share my journey to moms.

I don’t remember how I came across the book Ten P’s In a Pod but I remember that it was about a large family and the most notable thing about their family was the father’s emphasis upon Bible reading.

Every meal he would have the family read the Bible for 30 minutes. He had them take turns by age. His philosophy was that they wouldn’t have a physical meal without a spiritual one. Consequently, the children had large portions of scripture “hid in their heart” by sheer repetition. None of them seemed to regret it. It was hugely inspiring.

I decided that I could try that in small scale at breakfast. We started reading aloud the day’s Proverb, a portion (or all) of a Psalm and a section of the New Testament. Breaking it up with some songs for fun.

I was also able to highlight and teach them so much of the Bible during this, knowing that I didn’t have to cover it all, because we would read it again soon. There was no pressure to stick with a calendar. We tried to read every day, but if we didn’t here or there we weren’t “behind” on anything. We just picked up where we left off, methodically going through the Bible.

In came the fiery darts. They’ll hate the Bible if you are so regimented. You can’t take so much time reading in the morning! What about school? What about chores? and again, What about your own personal Bible reading?

I grabbed my shield of faith and claimed the verse in Matthew 6. “Seek ye first the kingdom of God … and all these things shall be added unto you.” Although this isn’t the exact context of the verse, I figured that if it was good enough for finance, than it was good enough for my responsibilities at home.

After reading, we would pray together to start the day; many time taking turns. It has become a big deal for the kids to learn to read well enough in school to start reading the Bible at breakfast. I have adopted this time as my personal daily Bible reading.

I have also found that it is much easier to find a quiet time of personal prayer somewhere in each day, but reading the Bible first thing really sets the stage for a good day for us.

I used to pray after breakfast, but during the school year that doesn’t work very well. Other times I have prayed during a quiet time in the afternoon. These days I pray when everyone is in bed and I am able to relax, thaw, meditate and seek the Lord’s direction for the following day. It has truly been a wonderful gift to this naturally anxious mom.

Final thoughts

Also, as your children get older it is good to have them set aside a time alone for their own personal alone time with God. Then when you come together as a family, you can ask them what they have gotten out of the Bible and if they have any special thoughts from their personal devotions. This will wean them from you and also give place for a different level of intimacy with God and you as parents.

However you choose to adapt Bible reading and prayer into your daily life as a family, the most important thing is that you start somewhere and somehow.