Isn’t it so much easier to focus on one thing and get it done well rather than trying to “multi-task?” Well, as adults, we can all get bogged down by trying to do everything all at one time. When you understand The 7 Seasons of Adulthood and How They Effect You, though, you will find it a bit easier to make the best of the season you are currently in. So which one ARE you in?
This isn’t particularly biblical, but more observational and basic advice keeping biblical principles in mind.
SEASON ONE: 16 – 25 (Making the most of your time.)
7 Seasons of Adulthood and How They Effect You
Your focus: Finding your strengths and preparing for your ministry and profession emphasis.
I remember a friend saying that the day of his graduation he found himself crying in his bedroom because he “didn’t know what to do next.” He was afraid to fail. The truth is, most of us find ourselves in that exact situation unless someone helps us think ahead and I think sixteen is the perfect age to be doing just that.
Let me give you three quick tips about this time.
- If you have a “calling” or a specific career field focus: then you better be working on your grades, internships with tuition assistance and applying for scholarships.
- If you want to be a Keeper At Home: then you should be emphasizing your education on freelancing and networking with people.
- If you are not sure what you want: than you should definitely not be committing your money anywhere. You should focus on higher paying, non-college fields and SAVE, SAVE, SAVE.
All the while you need to ask yourself … well … I have a series of questions you should ask yourself to help you narrow down so many things in this time of life, but I will save that for another day. But you get the point. You need to be focusing on “What comes next” and preparing for it.
Don’t stress though, because this is all just ground work and you are not “STUCK” if you decide later on that you want something different. The point is to start somewhere.
SEASON TWO: 26 – 30 (Getting Involved)
7 Seasons of Adulthood and How They Effect You
Your Focus: Establishing independence, making memories, get involved in church ministry and give more than you get with your parent’s and spouse.
1. One of my biggest regrets at this time of my life was that when my mother-in-law asked us to drive up and see them for Christmas and we thought we couldn’t afford it. The truth is that we had a lot more money than we knew. We had just prioritized them away. Well, my father-in-law was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and it made our priorities a lot more clear. An extra phone wasn’t as important as time with family.
He died just two years into our marriage.
You just never know what the future holds, but parents are more important than phones, fast internet and a new car.
I don’t regret the silly things we spent our money on and my husband and I cherish those memories of dual-income freedom, but I wish I would have realized the importance of “working hard so that you can give more than you get.”
2. Also, that was the time of life when we weren’t very satisfied with our earlier profession choices and chose to go into debt for a college degree. I tell that story in my book Faith and Finance: Peace With or Without Prosperity and how that impacted our finances and what we learned. If you are already married and questioning your profession, I would highly encourage you to read my book solely for the bible study within its pages.
There is no need to be stuck in a dead end career, but study the Bible before you make any big financial decisions. Also, read up on how to build a network of professional friends without being a card handing “networker.” You won’t regret it.
3. When my husband and I first got married, an assistant pastor said, “Now you kids enjoy this honeymoon stage, but after six months get into a ministry.” That was the best advice ever. Taking ownership of your church membership as a couple keeps you involved and keeps you growing. We are faithfully involved 15 years later and have never regretted it.
SEASON THREE: 31-40 (Hard Work)
7 Seasons of Adulthood and How They Effect You
Your Focus: Be faithful, invest in friends, your marriage and your health and reach out for help when you need it.
I am currently in this stage and it has been hard and good, and we have more often than not found ourselves on the receiving end up generosity than on the giving end … that is unless you consider how much time and money we are investing into our children.
We found ourselves no longer in the honeymoon stage of anything, and you probably will too.
Your job is work. Your family is work. Your ministry is work. Your marriage is work. And your friends are changing.
Your identity is truly wrapped up in what you do and what you are accomplishing and how well you are doing it. Questions really start to arise here about “Is this what I really wanted in life?” and “Maybe I should change.” or “Am I really making a difference?”
You are longing for more meaning in life and you just can’t do it all.
Here are my five tips:
- Take time out for your marriage and take time out for your friends, and take time to eat right and exercise. It’s necessary. And while you are at it …
- If you are broke, and someone gives you a gift … accept it.
- If you need a break and your mother offers to babysit … say yes.
- If your marriage is bumpy and you know someone with a solid marriage … reach out for advice.
- Don’t feel guilty for being weak. Just remember how it feels to receive and be prepared to give back when you are stronger.
SEASON FOUR: 41 – 55 (Managing your assets)
7 Seasons of Adulthood and How They Effect You
Your Focus: At this point, a lot of your hard work is paying off and you are often a “manager.” Be diligent and don’t slack off.
This is not the time to coast. In fact, if you slacked off in any area of your life in Season Three, it’s beginning to show.
- Your kids are either listening or rebelling.
Your health is either crashing or reaping the good fruit of effort.
Your marriage is either a continual work in progress or gone.
Your ministry is fruitful or contentious.
But let’s look on the bright side. Your past does not determine your future. Today’s choices do.
Here are three tips:
- Learn and evolve into new skills. Learn from those who have gone before you and have done well. Right now you need to adapt your skill-sets from “worker” to “manager.” Relationships are more important now than ever. You are no longer a novice and you need to invest in people above, below and right next to you.
- If your children are teens and more capable of independence, use your extra time to pull them aside to talk to them. During this time you need to CREATE opportunities to know them and make memories … good ones. They need it. They want it and it’s the only influence you truly have with them. Be a mentor, not an ogre or worse … an absentee.
- One last thing, I mentioned this is a season of life where your health and money are probably reaping the fruits of your management or mis-management, but this is also the time when your PARENT’S health and independence is deteriorating. This is the time to “give back” in abundance. It’s easy to become self-centered, but your example of how you treat your parents right now will shine loud and clear to your children. Give more than you get.
SEASON FIVE: 55 – 70 (Reaping what you sowed.)
7 Seasons of Adulthood and How They Effect You
Your Focus: Give of the abundance of your time, money and wisdom.
Last week I wrote an article on How To Start Over From A Broken Life and if you are feeling discouraged about where you are right now, I would recommend you read that. There is no “too late” to restore broken relationships. There is no “too late” to start over. Today is actually a really good day to start managing your stewardship better a little at a time.
I talk a lot about biblical living and how God’s way is the best way on my YouTube channel. There are lot of practical tips on day to day living God’s way.
That being said, often at this season, you find yourself reaping the rewards of a life submitted to the principles of the Bible, now is the time to do all those things that you felt were so important when you were in Season Three and Season Four: when you were so busy that you just felt like your life was being wasted away and that you weren’t accomplishing enough for the Lord.
Now is the time to do all those things.
Now is NOT the time to check out and retire.
Now is the time to:
- Spend more time visiting the widows and fatherless.
- Reach out to the younger women and teach them.
- Invest time in relationships for the sake of winning souls.
- Find the poor and needy and surprise them with some money.
- Babysit your grandchildren.
- Head over to a young mother’s house and teach their child to sew … for free. (Thank you. You know who you are.)
- Read the missionary letters and make and send care packages.
- Do Good Works
In fact, if you are ever at a loss for things you can do for the Lord at this stage, ask someone in Season Three and Season Four. Satan is throwing them good distractions all the time and they probably have a list of things that older-wisers are telling them to wait to do and focus on their children instead.
SEASON SIX – 70 on Up (The Bonus Season)
7 Seasons of Adulthood and How They Effect You
Your Focus – Given While Your Livin’ Cause You’re Knowing Where It’s Going.
I’m going to give a personal story for this one. My grandma was a widow for 12 years before she passed away. I would try to call her every month and she would chat with me about the kids, grandkids, family trips, death and friends.
She was renowned for sending birthday cards to every child, grandchild, great grandchild and great, great grandchild.
I knew she prayed for me.
She was a shut-in, but I knew she listened to her church’s radio broadcast. I knew she tithed. I knew she gave “special gifts” to the people in her family that she felt had a special need. In fact, in my book “Faith and Finance: Peace With or Without Prosperity” I tell of a life changing moment when I knew we couldn’t pay our bills and we had to borrow some money to do so. Well, the day we borrowed the money was July 24th and a week later we got a check in the mail for $1,000 from my gma dated July 24th. It makes me cry right now thinking about it. She didn’t know our situation, but she was tender to listen to the Lord and be a blessing.
In this season of life, do more than you think you can … for others, and ask for help when you need it.
Kids are a little gun shy to mess with their parent’s independence, because let’s be honest: parents don’t want to be a burden or admit they need help. Please take the initiative to discuss with your children your needs and plans. Please write out your wishes and send a copy to each child. Then when your kids want to help, make it easy for them.
One last story. My mother-in-law had her elderly mother live with them until her mother died. My husband remembers his grandmother being there and helping him learn to read and she was a blessing. At the same time, she was flexible. There was no fancy “mother-in-law apartment” to keep her semi independent with space of her own. Each person did what they could and esteemed others better than themselves and both mother and daughter received blessing in return. What a great example of the Bonus Season of life.
CONCLUSION
I hope this can help you focus on where you are at in life and make the most of it. It certainly has helped me. LOL.
Have a great day and Keep On Keepin’ On.
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