2 Minutes That Changed My Life – Colton’s Accident

The kids play with this bucket all the time. Here it is as an “Indian fire.” I thought nothing of it being outside.

Colton … happy by himself.  This is rare.  So rare that I ran and had my own little photo shoot.  Several pictures later I came in, showed Kiera the pictures.  Honesty to goodness, she said, “Colton is so cute.  It would be so sad if he ever died.”  Then scooped out dinner.  I turned and looked out the window and saw Colton high centered on his hips leaning over the 5 gallon bucket.

As I prayed last night, in retrospect, I thought: This is the point where I fall at God’s feet in tears and thank Him.  Do you know how easily I could have gotten distracted by getting the table cleared off, or by anything else in regards to dinner prep?  I was comfortable with them being outside.  I did not feel any danger.  Two minutes could have been five minutes easily.  How gracious God was to allow me to look.  I do not take any credit for that.  I do check on my kids regularly, but I whole-heartedly believe that the time frame happened as it did because of God alone and I will FOREVER praise God and be thankful for that.

When I looked, I thought he was just getting his little cup, but I honestly have always been a “drown-a-phobic” due to a show I watched as a child and I can not tell you how many times I have actually pictured this scenario in my head.  I am constantly shutting toilets and closing the bathroom door.  Kiera says I screamed, “Oh God, please don’t let me be too late!” as I ran outside and hoped against hope that there was no water in there.  I got to the bucket and saw my little boy arms and face down floating in the water.  I pulled him up hoping he would just cough out the water, but he was blank.

I screamed “Call 911!”

I could not remember anything I ever read about how to deal with water.  I turned him over like you would if a baby choked on food and tried to push on his diaphragm; nothing.  I tried again and his whole body tensed as if he seized and then the corner of his lips started turning blue.

I sat down on a chair and tried again.  If I could only get some water out.

His body had gone from limp to tense.

I heard Kiera telling our address to the lady on the phone and she handed me the phone.

The lady asked if I knew how to clear his airway.  I just couldn’t remember anything.  I had been afraid to put him on his back because having nursed all my babies I always laid them on their side in case they threw up in their mouth and choked.

She told me to lay him on his back, lift up his neck, push on the bottom of his chin and see if he breathed.  Immediately his airway opened and his eyes opened and there was a sign of life, but he was not there.  His body started moaning as if it was exhaling rhythmically and I heard the ambulance. 

These were mere moments, but every moment counted.

A first responder got there and turned him over and pinched his leg and Colton started crying.  I had never been so happy to hear him cry, but he was still not conscious.  His body was responding without him.

Within a minute the EMT group was there and they cut off his shirt.  I hadn’t even thought about hypothermia.  They just gathered him in some towels and he was gone.  I had no idea what lay ahead.

You know, you see movies about a kid who drowns in a pool and they pull him out and he coughs up water and then a few minutes later he walks home.  That is what I was expecting. 

I knew it had been raining and I knew the kids had filled up this toy with water. I actually checked it and saw that it only had a little bit of mud in it and felt checked off that mommy “safe” button.

Telling my story, time and time again.

I didn’t expect a police detective to start interviewing me.  I didn’t expect that anyone would think I had done it on purpose.  I didn’t expect the fear of them taking all my kids away.  I felt like a statistic “homeschooling mom of 5” who abuses her kids and doesn’t care.

Now, I know that this was not their intention.  They have a job, and there really are uncaring parents, but I couldn’t help wondering if this was only the beginning of a bigger nightmare.

Rick wasn’t even home from work yet.  I am so glad that we have great neighbors who not only came to watch the big kids while I was distracted but who adamantly kept telling the officers “Melissa is the best mom I know.”  I did not feel like “the best mom” at the moment, but I was hoping the officers would take note and write a good report on our family’s behalf.

I gave my timeline to the detective and gave him the SD card from my camera that gave a time stamp of when I took the pictures, in conjunction to when I called 911.

Now I am going to show these pictures and open myself up to some criticism.  I am ONLY doing it because throughout my whole life the #1 thing people have said about me is that I am open and not fake.  So here is a real mommy moment.

(I am sure that I had some sense of the possibility of water in that bucket.  Just like when someone in the family says, “Hey!  Where is my …? and you know where it is.  Not because of a conscious thought, but because we are constantly, subconsciously gathering data for latter use.  Never was this more apparent than when I looked at that “photo shoot” later.

Had I been aware of how obvious it was that there was water in the bucket, I may have been more timid of handing the SD card over to the detective, but I am being real here.

I was SO focused on how happy Colton was.  I was SO focused on him, that I completely did not see the obvious. 

All I can say is that this is the real life of a mom.  We care for real lives and do so much that we just make mistakes.)

As I looked back on this, it is obvious to me that the reason he is so happy is that he is interacting WITH the water. Of Course! Why didn’t I process this then? This is classic Colton.

At the hospital

We were transported to the ER and it gets blurry.  What I remember was going to the bathroom and having a heart to heart at the foot of God’s throne.

God.  You gave ME that boy.  I would be foolish to not ask You to give Him back to me whole, but if You have another plan for his life, I am okay with that.  He is “My Samuel” and I love him … no matter what.

I think I shut off and that point and I don’t remember actually praying for a long time.  Not because of any real reason.  I just shut off.  This is why I am so grateful for the prayers of everyone.  I had no prayers to offer.  Yet, you all did.  For the next few days, I read FB and felt little … but I felt loved … and I felt gratitude … and I did not fear.

I cry as I am writing this, because who knows the enemy’s purpose or plans?  Who knows, what God was doing?  Even if everything would have worked out fine, who knows God’s intended purpose of any situation?

At this point, I know by the notes and texts and comments that we received, that thousands were praying and touched, and God used our little boy to have an effect in all our hearts for some purpose. 

• Maybe you too have a “determined” child and needed to be reminded how good it is to have them by your side all day.
• Maybe your faith was faltering and you needed to see God’s hand in prayer.
• Maybe you forgot how good God’s people were and you were restored by the immensity of love in the Body of Christ.
• Maybe you had something similar in your life and this was your II Cor 1 moment where your testimony brought healing to our hearts.
• Maybe God gave you the gift of giving and this was a chance to use your gift in a miraculous, God-glorifying way.
• Maybe this will help us to be a bit more paranoid and put up all our buckets, or “big kid toys” that weren’t within reach when the other’s were “littles.”
• Maybe this was the opportunity to hold your kids a little tighter and remember how precious each life is.

All I know is that God used it in so many ways.

Facebook shows the timeline once we got to St. Lukes.  There was absolutely nothing we could do, but “rest” and be a comfort to Colton in between sedations.  He had a lot of fluid (and probable vomit) in his lungs.  They had to keep pumping it out and put him on anti-biotics to keep him from infection.  They kept him on ice to lower his fever, and this is how it was for the first 36 hours. 

He hated the tubes and silently cried as tears rolled down his cheeks and he looked at me to help him.  I just prayed for God’s grace for my little boy. 

I didn’t even know what “brain damage” would mean for him.  I learned later that this type of “brain damage” affects their personality and IQ, but not functionality per say.  He might struggle in school or have less control of his emotions.  That was good to know, but not knowing that up front, I had to surrender to the fears of living as a “special needs” momma … and that whether it was an accident or not … it was my fault.

I was comforted having just watched a video (the night before … coincidence???)  that said 97% of special needs children live a happier life than others, because they don’t understand cruelty.  This is not to say they don’t experience it, but God gives them a special grace.  I rested in that.

The only time I felt fear was when they were going to take out the tubes and see if he could do it all on his own.  I remember my sister-in-law saying that Psalm 61 was her “Go-To” passage and I sat down to read:

“What time I am afraid I will trust in thee.  Lead me to a rock that is higher than I.”

Who knew that within 12 hours of that point we would be discharged.  When we got there they said possibly a week.  Then they said, “Best case scenario: Friday.”  I attribute it to the faith and prayers of God’s people and for His Glory Alone that we left almost 48 hours exactly from the accident (Thursday Evening).

In the End

As far as Colton seems, it is as if nothing ever happened.  As a mom, I replay the horror of how he probably felt as he fell in and his momma wasn’t there to help, and how he looked when I pulled him out. 

I asked the doctor, “Did I just imagine that I was only gone for a few minutes?”  He said that according to the labs there was very little lactic acid built up in Colton’s system and that from all accounts he hadn’t been without oxygen for more than a couple of minutes.  He said that anyone submerged for longer than 90 seconds loses consciousness.  Colton had just ingested a lot of fluid in that time.  A lot can happen in 2 minutes.

But he doesn’t even know.

As far as we are concerned, it was a wealth of spiritual lessons where we have all gained tremendously and Colton has lost nothing but a few days in PICU.  He won’t remember, but we always will.