UPDATE: I would encourage you to watch this companion video on Modest Teen Trends for Fall 2018 and then read the post for some encouraging thoughts on the topic.
Ephesians 2:2 Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:
I laugh at the fact that “the prince and power of the air” does indeed set the “course of this world” and that includes the ever changing course of our money driven fashion industry. I endearingly call this the “fashion industry conspiracy” (FIC) because there MUST NOT be styles, cuts or washes that last more than two years or their industry will go broke. Yet, if you have ever decorated your home, you were probably told that the big price items should be neutral in style and color and it is your accessories that can be changed and rotated as fashions change. Those big priced items, I call wardrobe staples.
I yearly agonize over whether I should spend my money on replacing wardrobe staples and look plain again this year or to buy a bunch of “throw aways” (clothes that are super cute but will most likely be out of style next year due to the FIC) and hope that no one notices the little holes, fading, picks, strings and other signs of wear in the core of my wardrobe that gets worn week in and week out.
Sometimes in frustration I “bow to the fashion gods” and just buy whatever I can find that matches, doesn’t make me look fat and is “in style”. I later kick myself when I recognize that in doing so I became another “child of disobedience” rather than confidently acting like a child of God when it comes to the clothes, and accessories I have chosen.
I have gotten home, taken the tags off, worn an outfit out only to find myself tugging at my skirt or shirt, desperately hoping and wishing that the material would miraculously grow a wee bit longer or a wee bit looser. Then as I get home I scrounge through the garbage cans kicking myself for not being more like MY MOTHER-IN-LAW WHO KEEPS THE RECEIPTS FOR EVERYTHING, and fretfully realizing that the search is hopeless and my best bet at this point is the consignment shop down the road. I lay down for bed and pray to God asking Him to help me to do better next time, to have better discernment and patience and for Him to PLEASE HELP ME FIND SOMETHING THAT FITS.
TRYING TO FIND THE RIGHT FIT … VEXATION OF SPIRIT.
Ecclesiastes 1:14 I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit.
I have been in tears at a store just wishing that it was easier to find clothes that fit well, were flattering, modest and still in my price range.
Most Christian women are familiar with I Timothy 2:9, 10 where we are told to wear modest apparel with shamefacedness and sobriety. OKAY NOW, DON’T TUNE ME OUT BECAUSE I’M TALKING BIBLE HERE. HOLD ON.
In the 1953 Websters dictionary I looked up “modesty” and in it was referred to amongst other things as “bashful, moderate, free from anything suggestive of sexual impurity; free from indecency; showing such reserve or decorum as is associated with a chaste mind. “Shamefacedness” was only given one definition and that was “bashfulness”. “Sobriety”is defined as “temperance, steadiness, seriousness; gravity without sadness or melancholy.”
The cross reference to I Timothy 2:9 is 1 Peter 3:4, 5 where we are encouraged that by trusting in the Lord and being obedient to our husbands we can be adorned in a meek and quiet spirit, free from being at our wits end. This is my favorite part, “…which is in the sight of God of great price.”
I think the book, “The Witness of Your Wardrobe” by John and Donna Bishop describes this well when it says:
I believe what is in the heart is more important than what is on the body, but what is in the heart will eventually affect what is on the body!”
Let me tell you, my sanguine personality is anything but bashful, and when I am shopping for clothes my spirit is anything but meek and quiet. Trying to find the right fit is indeed “vexation of spirit.” Yet, as the virtuous woman sought wool and flax and willingly worked with her hands, as she made fine linen and had coverings of tapestry and silk in shades of scarlet and purple (which are the clothing of royalty) and still strength and honour were her clothing, I too am encouraged that I can also trust in the Lord as those holy women of old and have a quiet spirit with strength and honour.
It takes strength to work at finding the right clothes, honour to choose what is pleasing to God, and trust in God to be remain calm and quiet when everything within you wants to scream “THIS ISN’T FAIR! WHY IS THIS SO HARD? I JUST WANT TO GIVE UP!”
It is especially challenging in the summer when it seems even Bermuda shorts show our thighs and capris are so tight that while our skin isn’t showing everything else about us is. When tank tops are too low and t-shirts are too tight; when blouses V-necks gap while we are standing and show our belly buttons when we bend over; when buying “a swimsuit” means: a swimsuit, a cute rashguard and matching knee-length board shorts. What is a girl to do?
Well, let me tell you. I have done it. Every year I do it. Not on my own, but by God’s grace and mercy. I have three girls and every year God provides the “swimsuit & accessories” for each of them. We find flattering, modest and stylish capri pants. We stock up on tops that can make those two or three capris seem like an endless supply of cute outfits. We praise the Lord for hand-me-down dresses and second hand stores. It doesn’t even cost as much as you think, because when we are humble and seeking to serve the Lord; He provides.
I don’t have a specific store that I would recommend. I personally have just spent a ton of time on Pinterest and looking up Modest Outfits via Polyvore. I try to get an idea of wwhat is “modestly fashionable” and then I pray.
I have a lot of “good luck” at second hand stores because many types of people and sizes and tastes all donate and there is a variety that makes it easier to fit us normal people. I also seem to find a good selection of dresses at Easter time at Ross. If you have some extra money and find several; get several.
DISCLAIMER: You still have to use discernment because “Modest” has a lot of interpretations. I have a companion article to this called “Finding Balance and The Right Fit” that might help you as you draw your own lines in this topic.
I would also encourage you to look up what the Bible has to say about nakedness or read my article on “Mommy, Why is Cinderella Showing Her Chest?” if you want all the Scripture references handy. Then go back and find some “Modest Pinspiration” and pray that God will make it affordable and available for you. I promise you, He will.
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