Life Lessons For Kids - Think With Your Head, Not Your Heart

My kids were watching a very sweet children’s movie full of adventure, imagination, and fancy. In fact, I was surprised, because there are very few purely innocent children’s movies anymore. They were nearing the end and “Laura” the hero of the movie had to make a decision: 1. a decision based on her own understanding, or 2. follow her heart.

Well, Laura DID follow her heart and everything was made right. Sigh! And tears were shed by all!

Bah! Gah! Bleck! Phoey!

I hope I am not the only mom who does this, but I rushed in wildly and with humor and a smile started pronouncing, “Lies! Lies! It’s all lies!”

I know, I know. It’s just a movie. But it’s a right of passage for a parent to come in and disrupt “the best part” of a scene so that their kids aren’t brainwashed into believing the touchy-feely lies of humanistic philosophy. Right?

Maybe you aren’t too convinced; or maybe you are. But the philosophy of “following your heart” is everywhere and it is dangerous, and opposite of what the Bible teaches. And I want my kids to know that.

OPPORTUNITIES TO TEACH

There are so many choices that we have to make in regards to doing right that go completely opposite of how we feel or what come naturally. In fact, as adults (and especially as parents) we have to learn and relearn these lessons that teach us to put our feet to the plow even though we aren’t “following our heart” or “standing up for ourselves” or “allowing ourselves to be bullied” or whatever the philosophy that is currently trending.

I want to just give a list of opportunities of difficult circumstances that can happen in our life or the lives of our children that give great learning moments of choosing to do what the Bible says over what our heart may feel.

1. Loving the unlovely

Isn’t this what Jesus did for us and what God does every day? And yet, don’t we have such a difficult time being kind to those who aren’t kind to us? Natural instinct is to have malice, murmur, seek vengeance or cause a dispute. In fact our heart (or pride) rises up and says, “Stick up for yourself. Give them a piece of your mind.”

But, the Bible says just the opposite. (Eph 4:31, 32, Luke 6:28) We don’t have to choose to become their best friend, but we should guard our heart and mouths while choosing to be charitable and gracious.

So, the next time your kids are faced with a bully, allow them to be strong, but strong in the power of the Lord and the Bible.

2. Serving the unthankful.

Boy, if there was ever a group of naturally unthankful people in the world, it would be kids in today’s American culture. We have ease and comfort surrounding us. Yet, thankfulness is one of the hardest things to teach.

Still, there is something extra grating about a child who is not just unthoughtful, but who is ungrateful. You hear about the child who goes to Disney World and then on the way home starts crying because they forgot to get cotton candy and you kinda just want to take all their clothes and toys away from them and have them sleep on the floor.

I am still working on this character trait in our home, but I have come to the realization that the best way to teach gratitude is to have children serve more and give them less.

Have them pick up trash at the park that wasn’t their trash. Have them do their sibling’s chore. Have them work hard with no special reward. Then when you are working hard alongside them remind them that people work this hard all day long and it’s nothing special. That working and serving is something we do because it’s right, not for what we get out of it.

3. Giving when you have nothing left to give

This goes right back to being a hard worker. Moms and dads give and work, and give and work, and work and give some more. Why? Because we know that we have little lives depending upon our efforts. Still, there are days when we just have nothing left to give. That distant dream of a weekend away was given up several months ago and it is Monday morning and all the mess of the weekend is beckoning to be cleaned.

This is when our attitude will teach our children. I have seen some really great, morally sound children who chronically complain. From whom do you think they learned that habit? Parents, especially during times of exhaustion we must be patient and kind. We must remember that God is not unrighteous to forget our work and labor of love. We must not murmur or grouch at those we serve.

Our children know when we are tired, but they will learn that “in our home we grumble about everything when we are tired” or they will learn “in our home we just do it diligently and quietly because that’s the way it’s supposed to be done.” More is caught then taught.

4. Ignoring the inner voice

You know that voice that tells you that life isn’t fair. The voice that tells you that your boss is just a jerk. The voice that tells you to be true to yourself even though you are a stinking rotten sinner. The voice that says to go check Pinterest instead of grading your homeschooling. Yeah, that voice.

When we choose to put up our shield of faith that quenches those fiery darts of Satan, we start collecting some memorized promises of God that we have readily on hand for those moments when our children come to us and say, “I just feel like no one really loves me.”

Aha! There it is. You can turn to your child and say, “Hey. I just had that same thought yesterday. Let me tell you what I had to do to overcome that lie.”

You see, the heart lies and tells us to seek out “love” by (fill in the blank). It is the exception to the rule that (fill in the blank) is actually the right prescription for the aching of the heart.

Your life experience is exactly what they need. Your stories draw them closer to you and closer to God.

5. Choosing to be peaceful when an inner storm is raging

Oh, ya know, that moment when you realize that someone just did that something … again. OR:

Your seriously considering never paying your bills again so that you can go to work and tell that person just what you think of them.

You are thinking that screaming at everyone in your house might be perfectly acceptable, because that. was. the. last. straw.

You are thinking of inviting all of your closest friends out to coffee to celebrate that pity party that you are just now planning for yourself.

Then you realize that your kids are in the back seat listening to everything you were just about to say. Hmmmmm, come to think of it, didn’t you just tell them yesterday that they needed to be more patient even though their sibling got into their toys for the tenth time that week.

Oh, yeah, and then you remember scolding them for yelling at their brother and the whole “We don’t use that tone around here.”

You see, it is us. They watch us. They learn from us. The opportunities to teach are not the ones we create they are the ones that life (God) throws at us.

It’s God Who is Teaching Our Whole Family

That is the thing that God has showed me so much recently. Our kids learn by the consistency of our lives far more than the consistency of our lectures.

They realize how to deal with problems by how we deal with problems. They learn what is a big deal by how big of a deal we make out of them. They learn how to deal with a heart issue by how we deal with heart issues.

They realize that mom obeys dad with a good attitude even when she thinks dad might be wrong. They see that dad goes to work even when he thinks the boss made a bad decision. They know that we go to church even if someone might have been a hypocrite.

They know that God gives joy in the mundane because vacuuming the house is serving the Lord. The know that not everyone needs to know our opinion because we don’t always give it. They know that it is okay to say something is wrong because we stand up for what is right. They know that even though it hurts to do right, and that mom and dad cry too; that we still do what is right … because they watched us do it.

They see that the Bible has the answers and that sometimes mom and dad mess up by “following their heart” and “their own understanding” but then mom and dad fessed up and apologized and God helped set their feet on the right path. That is how we teach them to follow their head and not their heart.

But I want to finish with this; You don’t teach what you don’t believe.

If you have adopted the idea that following your heart will lead you anywhere other than a mess here is a really good article about The Dangers of Following Your Own Heart.

I hope this has been encouraging and a blessing. Have a great day and Keep On Keepin’ On.