You want to leave your church and you want to do it the right way?  In Part One of How To Leave Your Church, we looked at how our own hearts can fool us on this issue, why it’s better to be a David than a Saul or Absalom, and why talking to your pastor before leaving is a good testimony to other believers.  Here are the last four points: 

4) Leave For the Right Reasons.

1 Corinthians 10:31, “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.”

Like I said before, there is nothing wrong with leaving your church in of itself.  But leaving your church isn’t all that different from a lot of things we do: it needs to be done for the right reasons. 

Here are a few good ones: 

1) Relocation change.

A job change (so long as your going somewhere that there is a good church), ministry change, you’re planting another church, etc. 

2) Decline in purity of the church.

You can’t go to church without covering your eyes all the time because of the way the women dress, the music ministry is mixing Satan’s music with God’s, they dropped the King James Bible, heresies are swirling throughout the church and leadership isn’t doing anything about it (remember point 2!). 

3) Unique non-confrontational situation.

It could be a special needs situation regarding a child or something unusual like that.  There simply might be another church in the area that is a better fit for you because of an unusual situation.

4) You’re rotten and won’t get right.

If you’re going to live like the devil and refuse to get right, then please leave my church.  Don’t get me wrong – church is for sinners not “perfect people.”  It’s a thousand times better if you have a heart that wants to get right, that wants to try better, that wants to overcome, and you’re just struggling – but if you’re stubborn then leave before you corrupt someone else.

5) Special opportunity.

The church down the road is a sister church and they don’t have a piano player, but you play the piano.  Talk to your pastor about it, it might be that the Lord wants you over there.

Bad reasons usually include “I’m not being fed,” “there are too many judgmental people in the church,” “not enough love,” “I don’t like the pastor’s delivery,” “I can’t get along with so-and-so,” “they’re so pharisaical,” the list goes on.  Most of the time you can judge your own heart (remember point 1!) and tell if it’s a bad reason by how self-centered it is. 

This is why we go to church and the order of importance: 

A – To Glorify and Honor God. 

B – To Be a Blessing to Others.

C – To Receive a Blessing.

 So, if your reason for leaving your church is because of the least important reason for actually going to church, then it’s probably a bad reason.

5) Don’t Leave a Mess Behind You.

Proverbs 6:3, “Do this now, my son, and deliver thyself, when thou art come into the hand of thy friend; go, humble thyself, and make sure thy friend.”

Ever remember back when you were a kid and something you did that made you wince?  Something really embarrassing?  Something that you either hope no one else remembers?  Or maybe you’re thankful you don’t know any of those people anymore or that you don’t live there any longer?

Well, as an adult, it’s a little different.  You can’t run away from your problems.  The fight or flight mentality will just ruin you and you’ll wind up completely alone if you don’t face up to the situation and do the right thing.

What is the right thing?

Matthew 5:23-24, “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;

24) Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”

If you have a problem with someone in the church, don’t quit the church and leave the mess behind you.  Be responsible.  Do the right thing.  Fix the mess as best you can (remember 1 Timothy 5:1!) and then leave.

6) Have Grace with the Church You’re Leaving.

Proverbs 10:19, “In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.”

That’s just one of dozens of verses on the mouth.  When I find myself wanting to unleash on someone, I try to read the book of James, particularly chapter three.  I’ve talked to a number of pastors on this subject and without exception they’ve told me it’s the wagging tongue that causes the most trouble in a church.

Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!

If you must leave a church, and you are sincerely trying to do it the right way, then there is only one acceptable answer for when people ask why:

“We’re leaving because we believe that’s what the Lord would have us to do.”

That answer fits in with all the good reasons that were previously stated.  And if your situation isn’t one of those five reason but is still legitimate (remember point 1!) – it’s still the only correct answer to give. 

Any answer that undermines another person is harmful.  Don’t be the person that hurts other people!  Don’t be a Saul! 

1 Peter 2:23, “Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:”

Point 2 was about not tearing down the pastor, Point 6 is about not tearing down the people.  Those are real people in that church with real lives and families.  They probably love God and want to do right but just don’t see eye-to-eye with you.  Don’t do or say anything to hurt that church and ministry as you walk out the door.  You may have a big problem with the church you are leaving, but unless they’re worshiping Satan they’re probably doing something good – don’t be the one who destroys that.  Don’t be a spiritual arsonist.   

1 Thessalonians 4:11, “And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;”

7) Go Somewhere Better.

1 Timothy 3:15, “But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth.”

We’ve seen it over and over again.  Someone gets upset about something and leaves church.  Okay, fine, then what?  Then they don’t find another church to go to.

Augghhhhhhhhhh!

If you have to leave your church, then go to another church, and go to a better church.  One that is more separated, more prayerful, more evangelistic, more mission-minded, and more doctrinally sound.  

What?  You already are going to the church that is #1 in all those areas?  Maybe you shouldn’t leave it then!  Remember the three reasons for going to church (point 4)?  Getting a blessing is at the bottom of the list.

God wants his people in a local church, He ordained it that way.  It’s wrong for a Christian to not have a church (Hebrews 10:25).  The word of God is the truth, but the local church is the pillar and ground that support, upholds, and propagates the truth.

A church has a pastor who was called to be a pastor (Titus 1:5-16, Acts 14:23, 1 Timothy 3:1-7, the head of the home is not a pastor, he’s a dad) and is an organization with authority over the believers (Hebrews 13:17, 1 Peter 5:1-4).  It takes a certain level of humility to submit to the authority of a pastor – and that’s what God wants. 

I hope this series has been a blessing to you and encouraged you to see this issue from a biblical perspective.